


I now know the depths I reach are limitless

by ginger_chocolate



Category: David Bowie (Musician), Nine Inch Nails (Band)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Porn Without Plot, Slash, Smut, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:14:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28075287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginger_chocolate/pseuds/ginger_chocolate
Summary: David feels uncomfortable with how Trent looks at him, but it feels somehow good. But David doesn't like it, because this is how he would admire that he really is into men, too.
Relationships: David Bowie/Trent Reznor
Kudos: 7





	I now know the depths I reach are limitless

**Author's Note:**

> title is, as you may have noticed, quote from Nine Inch Nails "Reptile", which was performed together by Trent and David during Outside tour in 1995.

To say, that David was completely sobber would be a lie. But he weren't completely drunk too. Well, he just had to process something in his head, what he definetely did not want to. It was hard for Bowie to properly understand what did mean Trent by looking at him this way. To be honest, he had a clue what could Reznor mean. But this would be rather uncomfortable... And also somehow pleasing.

It was true, that David had seen this numbness in eyes of many women... And men too. But it was few years ago, and mostly he didn't have to work with those people. Bowie really wanted to ignore how the younger man looked at him. But it was really hard in the last few days. So he tried to ignore Reznor whenever possible.

Bowie would be lying, if he said, that it didn't feel somehow good, that Reznor stared at him this way, but this was the real problem. Admiring that a man arouses you, when you almost convinced even yourself, that you are straight... David wasn't comfortable with this vision.

Then someone knocked at the door.

Bowie walked slowly and opened them. He did not expect, that it could be Trent. But it was.

“Hi.” started the younger man.

“What's up?”

“I don't want to drink alone.”

“Well, I was drinking lonely at this point, so...”

“We could drink together.”

“...Yeah, we could.”

Trent entered the room and sat on the edge of David's bed. And again started staring at Bowie in this specific way.

The older man started pouring whiskey in his glass, then stopped. Without looking at Reznor, he started with as calm voice as possible.  
“At all... You didn't come here to drink with someone else, didn't you?”

“Uhm... Ye... Yeah.” Trent was shocked, that was sure. Now, instead of staring numbly at David, he fixed his stare to his own hands, his face glowing with shame.

“I could've known why you could come here.”

“Is it that visible?” asked Reznor still a bit surprised.

“If you had lived as long, as I had, you would be able to notice that.”

David put his glass back on the table.

“I mean, if you want me to get the fuck out of your room...” started Trent, before he noticed Bowie's hand on his shoulder.

“But I don't want to”

Reznor turned and looked right into older man's eyes. Seeing those asymetric pupils that close was hypnotising.

“Please, don't tell anyone about what will happen right now, okay?” whispered David with slight fear in his voice.

“Nobody will ever know. I promise.” replied Trent.

When David gave Trent a soft kiss, he really felt like he somehow wanted to run away, afraid of his own decision. But Reznor did not regret anything in any way. He started kissing rough, then pushed Bowie on the matress and got over him. Between one kiss and another, Bowie purred like a cat.

Younger man started undressing David, firstly he took off his shirt. Then, before going further, he slowly started exploring Bowie's skin with both his hands and tongue. Trent acted like he wanted to touch every single inch of older man's body. He only stopped for a moment, when David was taking off of him his shirt.

They kicked off their shoes on the floor. And when Trent started unbuckling Bowie's belt, older man grabbed his wrist.

“What?” asked Reznor.

“First take off yours” murmured David.

“Why?”

“I'd like to see what do you want to put in me.”

“I planned just sucking on you, I mean... We don't have any lube and...”

“Boy, this ass was treated that harsh in 70's, that you'd probably get shocked”

“It was almost twenty years ago, David” replied Trent rationally.

Bowie sighed. They both remained silent for a while.

“You know you've practically destroyed erotic atmosphere, right?” asked irritated David.

“I just wouldn't like to hurt you.”

“Just treat me like a fucking whore, which I am, as you see.”

“No, you aren't.”

“I'm not, you think? Yeah, I started it all, if I weren't I would tell you to get out of my room, or at least I would act like I didn't see anything, and I did what?”

“And I could have stayed in my room.”

“Trent, sweetheart, I wouldn't like to spoil you. I mean, if I hadn't tried it with another man, maybe I wouldn't even consider not being heterosexual and later I...”

“Do you believe in what you're saying?”

Older man didn't answer. He stared at the ceiling.

“David?”

“I don't want to feel such thing towards another man. But at all... Is it possible to get rid of it?”

“Maybe you don't have to.”

“And what would people say if... I mean, if they found out? Earlier or sooner, they will find out that I like men too. And it would again look like then. No way to discuss what I create, only asking with whom I've slept.”

“Journalists will always ask dumb questions. This is their job”

“Yeah. But you know. Nobody can know what happened here”

“Or will happen?” asked Trent smiling.

“...yeah. Or will happen.” replied David slightly smiling too, and then reaching to Reznor's crotch. Unbuckled belt and started taking off Trent's trousers. When trousers landed on the floor, and then underwear too, of both of them, David twisted under Reznor, suddenly getting over the younger man.

“I thought you want to be on the bo-”

“Shhh, I know, what I'm doing, don't worry. I said I'm a whore, didn't I?”

“Stop insulting yourself, please”

“Why, you care about me that much?”

Trent didn't answer.

“But don't worry, boy, you will be the one putting in. I just would like to prepare you a bit.” added David, and then took whole Reznor's cock in his mouth. He wasn't focused on giving him joy, just leaving as much saliva as possible. When he decided that his work here is done, he moved aside and layed on the matress, spreading his legs as wide as possible.

Trent stood over David, then moved downwards.

“Come on, stretch it a bit and fuck me” murmured Bowie.

Reznor put his fingers inside and began slowly and cautiously stretching David's anus. The older man seemed to enjoy it really much, so Reznor looked at his face and asked:

“Are you sure you want it?”

“Yes, fuck, yes” whispered Bowie.

Trent smiled and carefully put himself inside, then David gasped.

“You okay?” asked younger man.

“Yeah, go further” panted Bowie.

Trent moved in and out, firstly trying to focus on older musician's joy, but slowly getting more and more driven by his own lust. Was Reznor ever into men? Not really, except for David, on whom he had slight crush since he first time saw him on TV. Though he wouldn't admit it oficially, ever. Also, he had never thought, that this man would be moaning under him, begging him to cum inside his ass.

After they both reached their climax, practically at the same time, and Trent pulled himself out, they both were lying in bed, breathing heavily.

“I lo-” started Reznor.

“Please, don't say it.”

“Why?”

“I mean... Just... Don't.”

“But that... That was amazing.”

“Yeah”

A moment of silence occurred.

“Trent...?”

“Mhm?”

“Nobody will know, what happened here, right?”  
“Or will happen next time?”

David opened his mouth, and then shut it, not knowing what to respond. But after a while, he smiled slightly, and said:

“Yeah, or will happen next time.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know, this fanfiction is crap, but it's my first published work.


End file.
